The Unraveling of Attention and the Longing for Intention
On July 12, I deleted the apps. Just like that — poof. Gone. Facebook, Instagram, Messenger, LinkedIn, TikTok. The withdrawal was immediate. I caught myself reaching for my phone constantly, craving the dopamine hit of a like, a message, a birthday reminder, or the validation that someone sees what I posted this morning.
And that, my friends, is when the real detox began.
The Fractals of Our Time
One of the first lines that struck me from Digital Minimalism was about how social media breaks our time into such tiny fragments that it becomes nearly impossible to live an intentional life.
That’s the whole point of Shambhala — to live intentionally. So how did I, a woman who left the resort town to homestead and “exit the matrix,” end up a slave to an algorithm?
The Justifications We Make
I’ve told myself for years: “This is how I market.”
“This is how I stay connected to people in Alaska, Belgium, and beyond.”
“This is how we build the Red Pill Sisterhood, how I grow my coaching, share our farm life, inspire others.”
But the truth? That justification is a clever form of captivity.
Yes, I’ve made beautiful connections. Without Facebook, I may never have met Benjamin and the Knoxville Permy gang, or Devon, Pam, and the Rogersville Women’s Homestead group. Some of my most pivotal relationships in the last three years started with a DM. But the digital matrix giveth, and the digital matrix taketh away — especially your time, your presence, and your peace.
Hijacked by Design
My digital well-being tracker showed almost 300 notifications in one day. That number shocked me into action. I began ruthlessly disabling them. Every single app then asked, “Are you sure you want to turn off notifications?”
Yes. I’m sure.
Then I noticed something wild: I’d signed up for dozens of newsletters and online events I couldn’t even remember. My inbox was a graveyard of unclicked intentions. They’d hijacked my behavior and filled my mental space with digital clutter.
Watch 60 Minutes’ “Brain Hacking” from 2017.
Your phone is a slot machine. And we’re the lab rats.
Craving Approval in a World of Likes
This one hit hard: we are neurologically wired to seek tribe approval and positive feedback.
The woman who created the Facebook “like” button now hires social media managers so she doesn’t fall into the very trap she helped create.
I’ve lived this. Just last week, Bill didn’t make eye contact with me at a party, and my mind instantly went to self-blame. Was it because I refused a cigarette on voting day? Was I too much? Not enough?
I spun the story until I got validation from someone else — that I wasn’t crazy.
That, my friends, is the grip of social programming. Even in person, I’m carrying the energetic signature of social media — approval-seeking, righteousness, the hunger to be seen and affirmed.
So What Now?
I’m not here to tell you to delete your apps. But I am asking:
Is this the best way to use your time, your technology, your life?
Can we bridge the realities — digital and off-grid — without losing our sovereignty?
What if it’s not about usefulness anymore… but about autonomy?
I’m starting with ruthless clarity. I’m choosing presence. I’m choosing to miss out on what doesn’t matter so I can finally remember what does.
Coming next:
The Resistance, The Ritual, and Reimagining Connection Without Algorithms.
Let me know in the comments — have you ever done a digital detox? What did you notice first when the noise fell away?
It feels vulnerably exposing to splay this inner dialogue out for the world to see, but if just one person finds a new level of peace and solitude from trying the Detox because they read my words, I welcome you to cherish your journey. Because that’s what this Life is all about.
If you missed the “Why I chose to detox” post, check that out here
Stay tuned for Part 2…
